T2+Narrative

=**Term 2 Narritive Writting**= Google docs

Monday 4 July 2011

School work

“Class pencils down please,” screeched Mrs Weller. I hate tests, this was our third this term. Except this one was really hard compared to the other test I had done. “Ok, now I want you to hand me your papers when I call your name,” Mrs Weller said. “Eden, Bex, Danika-a,” she slurred. I rose out of my scribbled on chair and headed for the front. “I suspect our top student did exceptional?” She spoke proudly. I am the smartest in the year and a goody two-shoes. It sucks! Everyone expects high marks from me, the teachers, parents, even my friends. I can’t but imagine what life would be like if I got an **F!**

The last school bell rang and everyone hurried to the bus lines. I met up with my friend, Kaylee. Her glasses bouncing on her nose as she bounded towards me. “Hey, come on, we have a new bus, remember? It comes first.” She yelled. “Crap, really?” I dashed through rows of students, sprinted over the field and over the rails to get to my line. Far behind, puffed the little Kaylee. She was half my size, and I wasn’t that tall. Panicking trying to find my line, Kaylee sprinted towards a blue bus and screamed my name. I was to tired to sprint so I walked and got tripped by Harriet. I could see Kaylee talking to a black siluette who was sitting in the drivers seat.

__Friday 23 June 2011__

Underneath

I had just moved from London in England. I am a city girl and now I live on a farm in the middle of Ireland. Our farm is about thirty acres and is about twenty meters away from a big, green, forrest. I have lived in Ireland for three months and I still haven’t explored the farm. I know we have a few sheep and cows and all but I haven’t gone outside since we got here because I haven’t unpacked and sorted out my room yet.

Waking up with crust in my eyes I walked down stairs and ate breakfast. Mum, Dad and my sister Tracy were all eating pancakes. “Did you make me any?” I said in a snarl, “No, your old enough, aren’t you?” Dad replied, “I’m only thirteen Dad, and it’s my birthday,” “Ooops? Just kidding darling, of corse I made you breakfast...ummm...here” I knew he forgot because he gave me his plate that was drenched in maple syrup. I scoffed down my breakfast as I watched tv.

Dashing up stairs I turned on the shower. The water trickled down my face as I thought to my self, I was now thirteen and feel homesick. About half an hour later I turned off the shower by its head and whipped a towel around me. I gathered some long clothes and chucked them over my head and got dressed. My black cap was sitting on my bedside table waiting for me to pick it up. A red hair tie held my hair above my head as I ran down stairs and popped up in mums face. “Hey mum,” I spoke in a polite voice, “since it’s my birthday, can I go and explore the forest?” Mum had a weary face and with a sigh she she said, “Course, but put some bug spray on, O.K.” I gapped upstairs and grabbed bug repellent and a back pack. I walsed through the kitchen and filled it with food, “I’ll be back in an hour, Mum,” I yelled over the shower. “O.K Cameron, be careful.” She sounded worried.

Trotting through the paddocks I jumped over some fences till I reach the edge of the forest. My heart was pounding as I got closer. Making my own path through the first layer of bushes I continued my journey. Staggered up the hill, I slipped on a few risen roots. Mud trailed up my legs as I splashed through puddles. I heard a loud rushing sound. Getting louder as I was getting closer. Reaching the top of the hill, I bounded towards a large river. “I never knew there was a river stretching across the farm,” I thought aloud. It was so beautiful. Clear as glass on a church window. A row of rocks lined the edges as if someone had done it purposely. The sun glittered on the ripples and water splashed me from the small waterfall up ahead. I gazed at the small waterfall. The waterfall drew me towards it. It was a crystal clear waterfall.

Following it up a few hundred meters, the view of the farm had disappeared. I kept walking, the river was so beautiful I couldn’t take my eyes off it. Getting bored because it all looked the same now, I steered myself away from it. The ground was wet from the dew and leaves had fallen because it was Autumn. A steep hill was now in my path. I slipped down the hill on the dew. Tripping on rocks and roots I fell down into the ditch at the bottom. Lying in the ditch I could feel I had rolled my ankle. I couldn’t move.

Lifting my head I saw blood, cuts, bruises, leaves and mud all over my body. My clothes were ripped and the coolness was giving me a chill. I flopped my head back and groaned. Pain shot through my body like a bullet. The pain had now numbed me and I couldn’t feel anything. Trying to stand up, the pain rushed back to my legs. I could feel some splinters pricking me in the back. Laying as still as I could, I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

Night fall was upon me when I woke. Mum would be worried sick. Coolness wrapped around my cut face. Dark clouds swirled above me and I saw a teardrop of heaven fall on my bear shoulder. I tried standing for a second time as the rain drop in bigger, heavier drops. I trembled as I gained my strength. I dragged my leg behind me as I limped to a bush to sit under and keep the rain off me.

Curling up into a ball and hugging my cold knees, I shut my eyes and went to sleep again. I dreamed about my bed and the worried look on my mothers face as I arrived back home. My eyes fluttered as I woke and I stood up. My legs felt much better this morning and so did my ankle. Stumbling up the hill, I tried to find the beautiful river except I ended up in a tiny clearing. I couldn’t hear any rushing sounds. CRACK! I paused in my tracks. I listened for it again. This time a louder crack was ringing in my ear. I looked up and a rotten branch, about a meter and a half long, dropped from a tree up above. “Ahhhhhhhhhh!” I screamed. Beginning to run, the brach crashed down to the ground on top of my waist. I screamed again in agony but this time I ran out of breath. I wheezed and groaned and yelled out for help, nobody came to help me. I tried to lift the branch but it was to big to lift. I relaxed and tried to think of a way out

I was sure I was going to die. I waited for about half of the day. The sun was way up above me and the only sound I heard was the graceful birds that sat on the branch over me. A whip came to my ear. I looked up and saw one, giant, flying machine that flew. I screamed out for help. It lowered and a man jumped out. I remember feeling the air rush back through my lungs as the branch was lifted. I can’t remember anything else but waking up in the hospital and my mum tearing at the sight of me awake.

__Monday 20 June - Friday 23 June 2011__

**Jordan as discussed - You MUST show me the progess you are making with your writing. If you do not date your work each day, you will be put on learning journal rather than computer.**

**Comment: Good adventerous story Jordan. There are parts that show me the story "My black cap was sitting on my bedside table waiting for me to pick it up. A red hair tie held my hair above my head as I ran down stairs and popped up in mums face" I can imaging how she looked and her actions.**

**Next Steps: Use a variety of sentence beginning and lenghts for effect. Show the reader what is happening. A number of your sentences start with I, what can you do to improve this? what were you doing when you were nervous? How did you get up the hill? (make changes as discussed)**

=__**Underneath**__=

I had just moved from London in England. I am a city girl and now I live on a farm in the middle of Ireland. Our farm is about thirty acres and is about twenty meters away from a forrest. I have lived in Ireland for three months and I still haven’t explored the farm. I know we have a few sheep and cows but I haven’t gone outside since we got here because I still haven’t unpacked and sorted out my room.

Waking up with crust in my eyes I walked down stairs and ate breakfast. Mum, Dad and my sister Tracy were all eating pancakes. “Did you make me some?” I said in a snarl, “No, your old enough, aren’t you?” Dad replied “I’m only thirteen Dad, and it’s my birthday, “Ooops? Just kidding darling, of corse I made you breakfast...ummm” I knew he forgot because he gave me his plate that was drenched in maple syrup. I scoffed down my breakfast as I watched tv.

I dashed up stairs and turned on the shower. I was now thirteen and I feel homesick. About half an hour later I turned off the shower by its head and whipped a towel around me. I gathered some long clothes and chucked them over my head and got dressed. My black cap was sitting on my bedside table waiting for me to pick it up. A red hair tie held my hair above my head as I ran down stairs and popped up in mums face. “Hey mum,” I spoke in a polite voice, “since it’s my birthday, can I go and explore the forest?” Mum had a weary face and with a sigh she said, “Corse, but put some bug spray on, O.K.” I gapped upstairs and grabbed bug repellent and a back pack. I walsed through the kitchen and filled it with food, “I’ll be back in an hour, Mum,” I yelled over the shower. “O.K Cameron, be careful.” She sounded worried.

I trotted through the paddocks and over some fences till I reach the edge of the forest. I was really nervous. I made my own path through the first layer of bushes and then there were just tree trunks in my way. I decided to go up the hill. I staggered up the hill and slipped on a few risen roots. Mud trailed up my legs as I splashed through puddles I heard a loud rushing sound. Getting louder as I was getting closer. I reached the top of the hill and bounded towards a large river. “I never knew there was a river stretching across the farm,” I thought aloud. It was so beautiful. Clear as glass on a church window. A row of rocks lined the edges as if someone had done it purposely. The sun glittered on the ripples and water splashed me from the small waterfall up ahead. I gazed at the small waterfall. The waterfall drew me towards it. I was a crystal clear waterfall.

I followed it up a few hundred meters and the view of the farm had disappeared. I kept walking, the river was so beautiful I couldn’t take my eyes off it. Getting bored because it all looked the same now, I steered myself away from it. The ground was wet from the dew and leaves had fallen because it was Autumn. I came to a steep hill, I slipped down the hill on the dew. Tripping on rocks and roots I fell down into the ditch at the bottom. Lying in the ditch I could feel I had rolled my ankle. I couldn’t move.

I lifted my head and saw blood, cuts, bruises, leaves and mud all over my body. My clothes were ripped and the coolness was giving me a chill. I flopped my head back and groaned. I was in agony. The pain had now numbed me and I couldn’t feel anything. I tried to stand up and the pain rushed back to my legs. I could feel some splinters pricking me in the back. Laying as still as I could, I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

Night fall was upon me when I woke. Mum would be worried sick. Coolness wrapped around my cut face. Dark clouds swirled above me and I saw a teardrop of heaven fall on my bear shoulder. I tried standing for a second time as the rain drop in bigger, heavier drops. I trembled as I gained my strength. I dragged my leg behind me as I limped to a bush to sit under and keep the rain off me.

Curling up into a ball and hugging my cold knees, I shut my eyes and went to sleep again. I dreamed about my bed and the worried look on my mothers face as I arrived back home. My eyes fluttered as I woke and I stood up. My legs felt much better this morning and so did my ankle. Stumbling up the hill, I tried to find the beautiful river except I ended up in a tiny clearing. I couldn’t hear any rushing sounds. CRACK! I paused in my tracks. I listened for it again. This time a louder crack was ringing in my ear. I looked up and a rotten branch, about a meter and a half long, dropped from a tree up above. “Ahhhhhhhhhh!” I screamed. Beginning to run, the brach crashed down to the ground on top of my waist. I screamed again in agony but this time I ran out of breath. I wheezed and groaned and yelled out for help, nobody came to help me. I tried to lift the branch but it was to big to lift. I relaxed and tried to think of a way out

I was sure I was going to die. I waited for about half of the day. The sun was way up above me and the only sound I heard was the graceful birds that sat on the branch over me. A whip came to my ear. I looked up and saw one, giant, flying machine that flew. I screamed out for help. It lowered and a man jumped out. I remember feeling the air rush back through my lungs as the branch was lifted. I can’t remember anything else but waking up in the hospital and my tearing at the sight of me awake.